nuninuni…

i think i’ve doing pretty well for someone who just had a break up. well, technically it was long over due anyway. i’ve been going out lately and having therapy–literally, shopping. haha! i think that’s every girl’s therapy anyway.

• just a while ago i was going through my computer files. literally just scanning them. and then suddenly here comes a picture of me and john. i actually found myself laughing at the picture.
• Last week at century park hotel, a hotel guest bought two tickets for Cebu. what’s funny is that he looks exactly like john–skintone, face, outfit and all. i didn’t feel that “kaba” that i would have normally felt, nor did i feel sad and depressed all over again. I felt nothing but the urge to laugh out loud. i couldn’t believe it was happening. hahaha!
• Since the day we broke up, the only song my office mate Eman played on his pc is “i’ll be” by edwin mccain. that was our first dance years ago (john and i).
• Since the day we broke up, everything seemed to remind me of john.

normally, i’d take these things as signs. signs that i should try to work things out with john. BUT,  i dont see them as sgns anymore. i cant explain it either.but for some reason, i just don’t think and feel that way anymore.

the only thing i’ve been doing since the day we broke up? therapy–shopping. i’ve done nothing but shop, shop shop. for the past four years i don’t think i’ve pampered myself this much. and frankly, i am enjoying every second of it.  

Candy and i went out recently. it was a girls’ night out. we went to greenbelt, had a drink or two, and just had plain fun. our main motive was just to go out and catch up on each other’s lives. i didn’t realize it was going to be so much fun, and irritating at the same time. first a couple of guys approached us and asked if we wanted to party with them. i declined, in a really nice way of course. later on, a couple of guys were squeazing themselves into our group. candy and i left the bar, since we could feel our personal space getting invaded. they introduced themselves to jesse, and she introduced them to us. the guy wanted to meet me. 

I appreciate that guys actually came up to me and wanted to get to know me. i think that was the perfect thing i needed to boost my self confidence. the only thing i didn’t like? the fatc that i’d be with guys i barely knew. i wan’t that heartbroken to go out with guys i barely knew. candy and i left in short. we didn’t need guys to have fun. we didn’t go out to meet new guys either.

i love the fact that my reaction seems to explain the way i’ve grown as a person. did i mature already? i think so.