Scrat

Sometimes the things that we think can kill us can actually help us live again. For the past four years I was in a relationship with a guy. Don’t get me wrong, he’s great in so many ways. It’s just that sometimes shit happens, henceforth I realize that everything isn’t going perfectly as planned.

The saying “it isn’t the falling out that’s hard–it’s the sudden top” is actually true. Our decision to break up did hurt me a lot. But eventually I realized that life without him isn’t so bad after all. I have more time for my family, more time for my friends, and more time to pamper myself.

For a moment or two, I thought that our relationship was “it”. Later on I realized that I deserve a lot more than what I’m getting. I deserve to be treated well, like woman, and not just a friend. I deserve all the love and effort that a guy can give. I deserve more that what I actually had in the past. I do not regret my past, nor do I regret having John in my life. It’s just that after everything I’ve done to save the relationship, I’m just exhausted. I have no regrets whatsoever because I know that I did everything I could. I’ve exhausted all means and all effort for the relationship to work out; and if he can’t see that, well, I’m truly sorry, but maybe I do deserve someone better…someone who’ll treat me better, and love me for who I really am.

For the longest time my self esteem shrunk to pea size. Often times I felt unattractive. But the break up was an eye opener for me. I’m trying to regain my confidence again. I know I’m pretty inside and out. And I don’t need a guy to tell me that, nor do I need a guy to remind me that. I should learn to love myself to the utmost level before I can love someone else. I want the next guy to love me for who I truly am—flaws and all. I promised myself never to settle for what’s just there. It’s easy to find gorgeous guys. But it’s a lot harder to find gorgeous guys with the right attitude and motive. I want him to be like Scrat from ice age 2—he’ll do anything and everything to get the acorn. Maybe it’s about time that a guy does everything to make me stay…not the other way around. Right?